Someday I will stop writing boring blog posts

...and actually start blogging on a regular basis. If I had to choose my blogger style, it would be something like this or this. The latter is a new discovery. For a moment I even thought she was me...minus the child bride part:

Mormon female professional. Check.

High school English teacher. Check.

Liberal. Check. (Please ignore the name "Ayn" in my blog header. I don't know why I own her books.)

Distrust-er of those who like Glenn Beck. Check. (I love you Tony!)

Discusser and sharer of the crazy things people say and do in church. Check.

Sadly, I will never be able to blog like her because despite my degree in English, I don't think I ever completely learned the art of putting my best thoughts into words (or at least I never learned how to do it in a witty and entertaining manner).

P.S. Shout out to Darren Edwards, Elizabeth Benson, and my almost non-existent role in their accomplishments! Check out City Weekly's Best of 2011 (third one down). Note the second one down, and you will find today's blog inspiring discovery.

Summertime

One of the great perks of being a teacher is having the whole summer off. I think I have spent the entire school year contemplating what I should do with my summer. For awhile there, I had next to no ideas. What does one do with a whole summer that they are not used to having off? But throughout the school year, and especially within the last couple of months, so many opportunities and good ideas have presented themselves that I am not sure I am going to be able to fit everything I want to do into my summer! I just hope I don't ruin it by turning it into a summer that does not feel like a summer off. There are so many things you can do when you are free all day, every day, for a whole three months and still get paid. I definitely don't want to make it through my first summer feeling I have accomplished nothing. The best part is that I am going to attempt to blog about much of what I have decided to do, so be prepared for future blogs on the following topics:

1) Jobs

Okay, so I decided that in order to stay sane, I could not completely stop working for the summer. I also decided that I must still be able to consider it a summer off, so...I scheduled out only a very SMALL amount of my time to money making endeavors. But to me they seem pretty cool.

Money making endeavor #1: I am going to work at Zubs once a week. I shall never escape the place.

Money making endeavor #2: I have accepted a job with Salem Hills High School as the Credit Recovery Coordinator. Basically that entails being in charge of distributing packets that students must complete in order to receive credit for failed classes. This will only require four hours a day for the first three days of my summer and only about two hours of my time weekly thereafter.

Money making endeavor #3: Jenni, my sister-in-law, requires the services of someone willing to do odd jobs at her place of employment. These jobs would involve work like stuffing envelopes and being a receptionist for a random event. Although they seem menial, they are few and far between and pay well. Sometimes it IS just about the money...

Money making endeavor #4: I may have the opportunity to be a receptionist elsewhere for a week. Again, sometimes it is just about the money.

Money making endeavor #5: I will attend collaboration training--training with the purpose of teaching me the collaborative ways of teachers. :) I will be compensated for the time I spend sitting and listening to those who know more than I do about the subject.

The best part about these jobs is that besides jobs 2 and 5, I am not really obligated to perform any of them.

2) I am going to attend an AP training conference in Las, Vegas Nevada for a week at the end of June. It should be fairly entertaining, and if not, the nights spent exploring Vegas will be. ;) Now to move on to the more exciting endeavors and goals of the summer...

3) I am going to buy a car! I have saved, and I am ready. Be prepared for a new Ashley...an Ashley who will not be driving the same old, beat-up, sad excuse for a car that she has driven since she received her driver's license.

4) I am going to throw a bridal shower for my soon to be sister-in-law, Ramona Porter. For those of you who do not know, Devin is getting married! Despite his belief that I despise him for his choice to marry, I am actually quite excited for him. Though, to maintain my pride (I know, pathetic), I am not one to really let my excitement show.

5) I am going to make a quilt. Not the kind with a front and a back and stupid little yarn ties...I am talking about the quilt square kind of quilt. And yes, I am very very excited about it. I am going to become the crafty person I hate to admit that I am at heart.

6) I am going to make AT LEAST a couple of new recipes a week, and fill a cookbook full of the ones that are successful. Again, so excited. Nuff said.

7) I am going to work my way through the list of books found below. Yay for reading and having time to do so:

In Cold Blood, Truman Capote

Metamorphosis, Franz Kofka

Lord of the Flies, William Golding

Several other classics and nonfiction works that are escaping my mind at the moment (they are books that I will teach in AP Language)

The Brain That Changes Itself, Norman Doidge

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut

The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Mitch Albom

Under the Dome, Stephen King

And NOW for the most exciting goal for the summer...

8) I am going to train for a half marathon! Exercise everyday for the summer pretty much. That's only three more weeks a day than I am doing right now. Totally going out of my comfort zone with this one, but probably the summer goal I will be the most proud of. :)

What do I do when LOST is gone?

I am a LOST addict. I have seen most episodes more the once, I discuss with my fellow LOST lovers my theories, I look forward to TIME's review every week, and I read random blogs like this one. I have not yet decided completely how I feel about what is going on this season, but I am willing to live through all the chaos as long as the season finale blows my mind and doesn't screw with the characters' lives in a way that doesn't make sense. Meanwhile, I am looking for a show that can replace my LOST addiction when the series ends. I have been trying a few shows on for size over the last couple of weeks:

Modern Family

Okay, really, when it comes down to it, a comedy can't necessarily replace my need for the characters, chaos, and mystery of LOST, but Modern Family is hilarious. I don't know if I have a lack of sense of humor, but there are few shows that can cause me to laugh the way Modern Family does. Revolving around three related families, the show puts together a variety of character personalities that work extremely well together. My favorite character by far is Phil. Just watch this. The look on Phil's face as his wife wheels him out of his hospital room is priceless. Watch again if you must. :)

V

Typical aliens-come-to-invade-Earth-type-show, but interesting enough for me to watch the first five episodes in one sitting. I like the twist that the aliens have come under the guise of wanting to promote peace and advances in technology. The story is okay so far, and I see some potential. I just hope that I am not trying to convince myself that is the one to replace LOST because Juliette, from LOST, is the protagonist.

Fringe

I admit I knew nothing about this show as of last night, have only watched one episode, and after reading more about it, wasn't all that impressed, but hey, it made it to its second season, and...dun, dun, dun...it was created by J.J. Abrams, the creator of LOST. It is possible that I could be using semi-faulty logic similar to the above logic concerning Juliette, but oh well, I am going to give it a try because I am a sucker for sci-fi. Though, Fringe does involve a parallel universe, something I have not decided how I feel about when it comes to LOST.

Although none of these shows have stirred up the same kind of passion in me that LOST has, I would like to think that LOST took more than a couple of episodes to do so. But who am I kidding? I am pretty sure I was hooked on LOST after watching only one episode. I think I know what is missing from the shows above: well thought-out, real, morally conflicted characters. Get it right future TV show writers: develop characters we can relate to and care about. It's not all about a great mind-blowing plot.

Ashley....Ashley....Ashley...Ashley....

Bear with me...

So I hear these stories all the time...stories about the other Ashley Christensens in the world. Up until recently, my favorite one was a story told to me by my friend Holly. While attending SUU, her picture was put in the school paper as someone else...someone named Ashley Christensen. This Ashley Christensen (not me) was attending SUU, and the paper quoted Ashley in the article and for some reason thought that my friend Holly's picture was a picture of Ashley. She thought it was funny not only because one of her best friends (me) was named Ashley Christensen, but because a girl that sat in front of her in one of her classes was also named Ashley Christensen (not the Ashley in the article either). Then when she was telling the Ashley from her class about the whole story, the girl sitting behind her said, "My name is Ashley Christiansen!" Yes the name is slightly different, but funny enough to make it a good story. This Ashley was also not the Ashley from the article.

Well...I like my new story better. When I started working for Nebo School District, the district called to inform me that my email address would not be the typical email address (firstname.lastname@nebo.edu) because there was, unfortunately, another Ashley Christensen that worked for the district. I was somewhat bothered because I knew that I would/will probably spend the rest of my career in Nebo not getting all of my email. I sent her an email asking if she would forward all of my email onto me. Easy enough. Well...after the first week of receiving my email from her, I was soooo confused because a ton of the email she sent me really wasn't mine. I wondered if she was just stupid and didn't realize it was actually hers. Instead, I googled "Ashley Christensen Nebo School District" and discovered that...haha...there was actually a third Ashley Christensen that worked for the district. I called this Ashley to let her know that I would be forwarding her email onto her. We couldn't let the first Ashley do this because there was no way for her to know which emails belonged to which Ashley. I thought my story was too funny not to share, so I told the attendance secretary, Mrs. Christensen (who also gets confused with me although her name isn't Ashley), my story. Her son was there visiting her, and he informed me that his wife, Mrs. Christensen's daughter-in-law, was also named Ashley Christensen, and that she also worked for the district but had opted out of having a district email address. Thus, she was a fourth Ashley Christensen who worked for the district. He also quickly told me a story about how he and his wife moved into an apartment that had previously been rented by a male Ashley Christensen! Well, the fourth Ashley Christensen story checked out when I couldn't log into the district's subfinder system and had to call and figure out why. Sure enough, the person in charge informed that there were four Ashley Christensens working for the district, causing a lot of confusion. Four Ashley Christensens who are all teachers! I wonder if any of these Ashleys are the same Ashleys from the first story. So much for having an original name.

Teacha Picha

I am a teacher...and sadly...I have to worry once again about that day every year that I have to get my picture taken. And then worry more once it shows up in the yearbook. Okay, I don't worry THAT much. But funny story for you...the picture people thought I was a student when I got my picture taken, so I didn't get a teacher ID like all the other teachers did on picture day. :(

Dystopias and Obama (not to be considered related)

Dystopia (n): A futuristic, imagined universe in which oppressive societal control and the illusion of a perfect society are maintained through corporate, bureaucratic, technological, moral, or totalitarian control. Dystopias, through an exaggerated worst-case scenario, make a criticism about a current trend, societal norm, or political system (www.readwritethink.org).

Just in case you were wondering, books, and often movies, dealing with dystopian societies are my favorites. You may already know this, but I love love love them.

My book favs: Ender's Game, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Anthem, Hunger Games, Mistborn, The Road, The Giver.

And my movie favs: V for Vendetta, The Village, The Matrix, The Truman Show, Gattaca, I, Robot, Pleasantville, Minority Report...you get the picture.

Who knew, though, that they could be so exciting? Okay, obviously I know, and I was pretty sure my students knew...that dystopian societies could be a fun thing to learn about, read about, and discuss, or maybe I am just a nerd.

And although some of the above mentioned books/movies are only bordering on the definition of dystopian societies, any book or movie dealing with a messed up world/future and/or postapocalyptic society makes me want to curl up in my bed, read my time away, and forget about the outside world.

Why, you ask? I don't know.

So back to the point of my story. I am an English teacher. I just started a unit on Anthem, by Ayn Rand (quick FYI: free classroom sets of Ayn Rand books can be ordered at www.aynrand.org for any secondary educator), and Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury. These books, like I said above, deal with dystopian societies.

My lesson was scary for me to plan. It was my first time teaching literature (I only taught writing as a student teacher). It was the first lesson of a unit, so it had to be a good one. And...one of my fellow English teachers was coming to watch me teach it.

The lesson went extremely well...maybe even a little too well. After spending the majority of the lesson discussing our First Amendment rights (rights often not found in a dystopian society), we moved on to defining a dystopian society. In order to help my students get the best picture possible, I had them come up with examples from popular books or movies. Discussion.

Went.Great. Not only could students name multiple books and movies involving these types of societies, they could get down to the details about what was wrong with these societies. Once they named a movie, I would have them give a short synopsis that they had to keep appropriate; many of the movies are rated R. They then discussed what was dystopian about the society. They even went into The Matrix and how although their fake society may have been better than actual society, it wasn't better because it wasn't REAL, and they pointed out that we need to have choices. I love my students.

Well...after class, one of my students comes up to me and says, "It makes me feel good that teachers can talk about things like this."

"Dystopian societies?" I ask while thinking to myself...Don't tons of teachers teach books dealing with dystopian societies?

"No, well...just what we're talking about," he responds.

Shoot, he must be talking about the rated R movies, I think to myself.

Great. Great. Great. I think I may have made my first mistake. I did ask them to keep it appropriate, though. And the only thing that makes me feel better is that the well seasoned teacher observing my class didn't seem to find anything wrong with it. At least he didn't say anything about it when going over the strengths of my lesson.

And that is not the only stupid thing I did that day. Once 4th period came around (the last period of the day), I praised Obama's speech on education. FYI: My district would not allow the schools in my district to watch Obama's speech because of too many complaints from parents. They did, though, eventually change their minds, and we watched it in 2nd period the day of my dystopian lesson. But only after those students whose parents wouldn't allow it left the classroom. So basically, praising Obama's speech may not have been the best thing to do in front of my students...even if I went off about how it wasn't political at all. You really really do need to watch what you do and say as a teacher; trust me.

On a side note, I would like to give some credit to www.readwritethink.org and www.freedomforum.org for giving me great ideas for my successful dystopian lesson. :)

I am a teacher

I have had many funny moments since I became a real teacher. Here are just a few:

1) I had a male student teasingly call his male friend beautiful, but to the entire class, it looked like he was calling me beautiful. He turned bright red, and tried to explain away his actions.

2) I had a parent looked really confused the whole time I talked to her about her student. Suddenly she had this look of realization on her face as she said, "Oh! You're a teacher?"

3) I find myself shushing people a lot more and asking people to be quiet outside of school in a very teacherly tone.

4) Very similarly, when I was talking to my brother Devin the other day, I found myself saying, "I need you to pay attention when I am talking," when he started texting on his cell phone. I was totally not meaning to act like a teacher, but I say that to my students all the time and it just came out! Ahhh! I hope I don't do that again.